Drunk texting...

Definition....A modern derivative of its cousin, the drunk dial. This involves sending text messages via cell phone to friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, friends or family usually while in a drunken stupor.

The majority of you have fallen victim to the drunk dial, but what about the drunk text? I have to assume that if you're guilty of the drunk dial then you must be plagued with a few drunk texts here and there. It's really just an easier, less direct method of the same thing — next day humiliation.

I've sent and received tons of jumbled text messages from drunk friends who can't even make out what they've written when I show it to them the next day!! It's hard enough to speak clearly when you're in that state let alone type on a two-inch keyboard! What's next you ask?? Let's talk about "slur texting"! Oh yes... you know what I'm talking about! So if you've done it, and I'm sure you have, what's the very worst — most embarrassing, rudest, incoherent, hilarious text message that you've sent drunk? My most recent "Zohan is zoooo zexy! Will you bring back the mullet and the disco shirt with the chest hair poking out!"

Crocs with Socks, I Kid You Not!

Ahh, the footwear, known as the Croc. As if this clown like shoe wasn't obnoxious by itself, people insist on wearing their crocs with socks. Oh the horror!! I ask you, do these shoes really need help looking ridiculous on a grown up? Well, apparantly some adults think so as they are sporting the croc with the sock in a blatant disregard for any sense of fashion. Just think back to how bad black socks with dress shoes and shorts were in our parents days. Well my fellow friends, we have shown everyone what ridiculous really is - rubber shoes with socks!

Courtesy flush .... PLEASE!!

The human quest for knowledge knows no limits, but there are some days when an amendment to that rule wouldn't be such a bad idea. Today may just be one of those days.... I have searched the internet to see if anyone else knows what a 'courtesy flush' may be because after today, I believe some people NEED to know what this means!

Today while spending a little quality time in my office bathroom, the area became a bit aromatic and it wasn't coming from my stall!!! Would it kill them to give a courtesy flush?

Definition: A courtesy flush can occur during or after the act of well.... as my youngest daughter would say "poop poop", particularly when using public facilities.

A courtesy flush is meant to be just that, a courtesy for others. If you know ahead of time you are about to pay the price for last night's overindulgences, you may want to consider flushing the toilet several times during your visit in order to minimize unpleasant odors. The common belief is that most unpleasant odors are generated between delivery and reception, if you get my drift. This type of courtesy flush is supposed to take the offenders out of the game as soon as possible, thus reducing the total exposure time for others!!!

Air quotes - must stop now!

Ahh "air" "quotes". You have all seen them and probably been guilty of using them from time to time. I myself have even fallen victim to this horrible act of finger abuse. This over used phenomena is a horribly contagious act of ridiculousness. I'm begging you to please, please consider your fingers. They are a wonderful useful apendage that deserves better than to be bent over, in a 2 finger fashion used to frame a "word" or "phrase". So, I am asking all of you to please do your part in stopping this incessant behavior - NOW!